Learning Cycle

I remember the time when I bought a small bycycle for my daughter when she was three and a half. She never rode a tricycle even. 

On day one I helped her get on to the bycycle. You need to visualize a person riding a bycycle. she pushes one foot down; the cycle moves forward and stops... because she does not push the other foot down (pushing the foot down helps complete a rotation, right?) I realised that she was finding it difficult to complete one rotation.

I literally held her feet on the pedal with my hands while she was trying to learn how to pedal. While I wondered why she was unable to complete a rotation pedalling with both feet, she found it difficult to understand why she had to complete the whole rotation.

I realised I was losing it when she was unable to get it ... that cycling is all about pedalling with both feet. Somewhere wisdom dawned upon me and I told myself to relax and let her go through her motions of learning.

Trust me three days later when I reached home I saw her excited... and jumping in joy... she got on to the tricycle and showed me that she was able to do it on her own.

Learning: As a coach we need to give the coachee the time to go through their learning curve... else we may cause confidence issues or kill interest in the initial phases itself. Of course, you train them on the basics and allow them time to figure out the why and how... You can only provide a perspective....It's a Learning Cycle.. One has to go through the cycle on his / her own.

  

Coaching... an Opthalmologist's Perspective

I recently took my son to an opthalmologist for an eye-test. The doctor was carrying out routine checks. It came to a point when the doctor was trying to assess the lenses for (near) accurate vision. The doctor kept changing the lenses and checking how comfortable my son felt with that lens. I got curious with this step.

When my son felt one of the lenses was comfortable, he tried out another lens and asked for the difference he felt between those - which one was more convenient and comfortable. It then hit me... that's exactly you do as a coach. You can help coachees view their situation(s) from various perspectives (lenses) and decide which one is more convenient for them. Let them view if from that point of view and decide on an action plan....

No opthalmologist ever suggests which glasses are good for an individual. He will only indicate the challenges of (not) using certain lenses and how to use the lenses. As a coach help your coachee decide which perspective and solution is more convenient for him / her. When coaching wear the hat of an opthalmologist..... Coach as an opthalmologist.

What if no Coach?

Why coach is a question that is discussed as part of all coaching workshops. The range of responses include - to develop an individual, build the talent pipeline, for succession planning, etc.

All of these and many other's would also be right.

I was, in the morning, thinking about the word coach and was toying with the word... when I realised that if there is no coach the coachee feels choked. The system feels choked and the manager (coach) himself feels so.

Wonder how!!

Read the word coach backwards..... focus only on the sounds Coach (KoCh)... it reads as (ChoK).

Reverse of coaching ... when I say reverse I mean the act of not coaching can make the individual or the coachee feel choked... system / organization too would feel choked as it depends on individual who (in case of no coaching) feel choked.

Hence, Coach.

Asking's THE Way to Show Me The Way

Coaching is more about  facilitating answers than providing some. The very word facilitate brings out two aspects... one that a coach needs to be neutral (not hold a coachee against his / her views and opinions) and the other is to appreciate the concern of the individual from his or her standpoint.

How can one be neutral? Is it possible that one can remain unopinionated or not hold opinions when a coachee shares a situation?

It is tough. Then, how does one manage this? Simply by building an ability to ask caring questions that draw out an individual's point of view. Thus you can ask me why I feel the way I feel. Having opinions or forming opinions is quite natural. However, sticking to them and trying to filter my situation from the same is going to be detrimental to demonstration of care / concern for me.

To understand my issue, you as a coach need to walk the path I tread despite the fact that you have every right to disagree with me. When I say you tread the path, you need to remember you are beside me. That's termed as being empathetic. It's about your ability as a coach to not just get into my shoes (by removing yours first) and then walking in them for a while (only when you walk in a pair shoes does it pinch). To appreciate how I experience the  pinch, you as a coach need to get yourself into  

You as a coach can facilitate my reliving the situations and exploring alternatives (should I face the same again). To achieve this you need to ask me questions that are genuine and caring to the core. You need to remember, I can smell any of your opinions through the questions that you ask me. Your phrasing and tone of questioning gives your views away to me. Your questions that speak your attitude tell me: either you want me to agree with you or tell me that you do not think what I'm saying is the case. Both are detrimental to our coach-coachee relationship.

Building self-confidence, self-esteem and self-respect are the additional advantages that you help me with besides drawing the answers out of me through this questioning process. Once lead me through this process, I also realise the one who gets into a situation also needs to learn to get out of it. 

Einstein's says (though not in exact words) To solve a problem you need to be at a level higher than where it is created. Through a caring questioning process you get an helicopter / aerial view of the problem and thus will be able to facilitate my problem solving. 

Thanks to you coach for trusting that I'm capable of solving my problems.  

Train or Coach

You train when one knows little. You coach when one knows how to perform but does not perform to one's potential or to the level expected.

You train when you know the other does not know.... You coach one when you know one knows it yet is unable to reach one's potential. So training starts with a basic assumption that one does not have knowledge or skills (totally or partially)... while coaching trusts one has the knowledge and skills, yet needs to fine tune them. Hence, the belief that answer lies within the individual. So the effort to facilitate individual's finding solutions to challenges on one's own.

You can train for skills and coach for better performance only if one shows the will to improve.

CoaCh's Corner

CoaCh's Corner aims to

• provide a platform for passionate coaches to share and learn from each other's experiences
• raise and respond to queries that concern coaching relationships and people development
• grow individuals mentally and emotionally to take care of oneself

MY BELIEF: Teach one how to fish .... you don't catch one for them.

Coaching is always done by being along with people... never by being before them nor behind them. Reason: If you are ahead of them, their challenges may be behind you and you miss noticing them (they may not look like challenges)... if you are behind them, you are distanced from their challenge and you may feel it's too difficult.

In both the cases you miss the view of the challenges and the perspectives... by being with them you get to see the challenges the way they see them.

Another advantage of being with them or by their side is that you never interfere with their experience of it... you can only be a catalyst. On the other hand if you are ahead of them, you slow them down and if you are behind them, you may run into them... collision or conflict is the possibility. Which is avoided by being with them.

Being a coach you facilitate their train of thoughts ... by being by their side... unlike a (train/rail) coach that normally follows the engine